I went out during the day on Saturday to get my hair redone by one of Lindi's friends. Professor came with as well, and we had such a good time together. My hair ended up taking 10 hours, and Professor had to leave before I was done, as well as Lindi. I was alone with Lindi's friend Lisa. Lisa is 23 years old and from Zimbabwe, only been living in Cape Town for 3 months... and got married 1 year ago. Lisa is a very soft spoken young woman... she is incredibly bright, and has big dreams. Lisa would like to open up her own hair salon.. which she should. She is more than fantastic at doing hair. While we were left alone, we talked about life.. love... and bonded. Her husband was in and out of the house, making sure I had a cold beer every time he came back. He is a very very nice man as well. However, Lisa opened up to me about her home life. "I love my husband... but you have no idea how hard it is being a black woman that is a house wife." She says to me. I know that Africa is a little behind when it comes to men and woman standards, however... she gave me a full view. "My husband went out to the bar last night with his friends.. and never came home... he never came back. and this isn't the first time he has done this... and when he got home this morning, I am not allowed to ask him where he has been." As she was telling me this, I could hear her emotions through her voice. My heart hurt for her. "Haley my love, may I show you something? Something that I have never showed anyone else before?" I looked at her and said "You can show me anything you want, anytime you want. I am here for you." She pulled out this little notebook... with poems she wrote. The poems were so in depth. So beautiful. I felt like crying... crying for her. She tells me "Haley, I want to write a story... a story about a young black woman... being married in Africa. The story of married Black women in Africa." I told her that she should... because America, as well as other countries... have no idea about the standards here.
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| Lisa working on my hair. |
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| Professor working on my hair :) |
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| One of Lisa's poems. |
Lisa loves her husband. And it is apparent that he loves her as well. But most married relationships here, have more to worry about than their husbands not returning home after a night of drinking. I encouraged Lisa to keep writing. I showed her how to start a blog, and I gave her my email. I will do everything I can to help her out... she is not writing this just for herself, but the community of women that have worse worries in their marriages. When my hair was all done, she hugged me tightly, and whispered in my ear "thank you sisi." I looked at her and said "no. Thank you for giving me light." She smiled... I smiled... she kissed me goodbye, and I was off. Off to do some more thinking. Some more preparation for my farewells. And reminding myself, how damn lucky I am.
It was time for my farewell with Carter. Carter. He has been my roommate. My brother. One of my best friends. Carter and I are very.. very.. different. But I have had a relationship with him like none I've experienced in my life. I love him dearly. Like my brother... my blood brother. Carter and I have shared stories with each other, bonded.. and had the sibling sort of relationship that I have had with my own brother. I watched him grow into a new person throughout this trip.. and I am so proud of him being able to overcome many life struggles throughout his stay here. It was time for the farewell dinner... and I had been out in the sun all day before hand. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I have had so many emotions... so many thoughts. My mind was racing. I suddenly felt dizzy while we were sitting at the dinner table. I excused myself from the group and attempted to walk to the bathroom... However, I didn't make it there. The next thing I know... I am laying on the concrete... with Carter kneeling down next to me, holding my hand... my face... asking me if I was alright. I had no idea what happened. I had a cold rag on my forehead... and as I came to the realization what had happened, I realized how bad my face hurt. Carter, and my friends Kate and Rachel sat with me until I was able to get enough strength to stand. Carter walked me home before he could eat his dinner... and then there we were. He was tucking me into my bed just like he has on my drunken nights... but this time it was goodbye. Our last night. I held onto him and said goodbye... and sobbed into his shoulder.
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| Carter and his girls :) |
Now. now it's my time to say goodbye. I am sitting on the couch on our porch... watching the morning greet me, for my last morning in Cape Town. It's a bittersweet feeling. I am so excited to see my family... but I am terribly sad to leave my home here.. and terrified to adjusting back into American life and standards, and to not forget how I lived here. To say that this trip has changed me, is an understatement. I have spent my days with the most amazing people.... and seen things that most people will never been able to see. I have learned how to live with little... and not be a slave to the clock. I have learned to enjoy life... every hour.. every second... minute. Enjoy it all. I can appreciate more, and I know what I can live with, and live without. I now know what I want in my life... and I know how I am going to live it. And that, that... I will be forever thankful for because most people have no idea what they want. I want to help people... I want to help heal people. When someone thanks you for helping them, even if you feel like you have done nothing... it is the greatest high one could experience in life. And that, I will do until the day that I die.
Cheers my Afrika. I shall return.
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