Alright. Where to begin. Well, I didn’t blog yesterday because one of my South African roommates decided to have a party from 2am-6am. So I was a little tired, and I’m still a little sick, so I was a little cranky.
So, to recap my day yesterday... I walked into our 2nd day of foster parent training looking like a complete zombie. All the ladies continued to hug and kiss me, there were new faces as well, which jumped right on the bandwagon and hugged me away. Sister Vivianne, the Directer of Umtha Welanga, re-introduced me to the group and told them that I have a Masters Degree in Art Therapy and a lot of experience in counseling... and all of a sudden, it was like the women had epiphanies. They all were looking at me different, like I was some kind of angel. After that, they started referring to me as Ms. Haley Psychologist. I tried to correct them over and over again, but the always replied with “To you, you are different. To us, you are Psychologist.” There was no sense in arguing with them at this point. Sister Vivianne then started the day of training by leading a prayer in Xhosa. I didn’t know what to expect... but I bowed my head and closed my eyes, and then felt the women next to me grabbing my hands, and the sweet sounds of whispers filled the room. It almost felt like I had all these voices in my head, but it was so beautiful to listen... even though I didn’t understand what was being said, I didn’t need to. I could feel the compassion running through my blood and into my soul, and that was all I needed. We all sat down, and the first half was all in Xhosa.
I tried to keep my eyes from getting heavy and crossing.. so I tried thinking about anything... anything to come to mind. I started thinking about the bus ride this morning, and Patrick of course. He told me on the way to work, that he wishes he could take me to the home affairs building, so we could marry each other. He said that we could have a nice house in Khayelitsha, and we would survive by the love we have for each other. I just have to giggle at him, because I really don’t know what else to say to him. Patrick then proceeded to tell me that I would be fine living in Khayelitsha because I don’t act like the typical ‘white’ person and that I have a lot of compassion for people. Compliment? Yes.... Soon, I lost my train of thought, and was in my own little world for quite a while. I noticed the foster mother sitting next to me. How high she held her head...but I couldn’t help but notice the hairs on her chin. And..it wasn’t just hairs, it was more of a bearded chin... to put it nicely. Lindi must of noticed me looking at it, because when it was time for “tea time” she came to me and told me that in their culture, African women that have hair on their chins are looked at to be very wise. So here, it’s an honor to be able to grow hair on your chin. In America, you would be harassed and people would assume there is something wrong with you. After “tea time” we had to come back and do an ice breaker. I think it was mainly because Lindi noticed I was getting all bobble headed before. So....I’ve never really been a fan of ice breakers. I understand them, and their ‘importance’ but the pressure was on me, since I’m the odd duck out in the room. Nolita says “everyone get a partner, and turn your singing voice on!”... Oh great. I could feel my armpits start to sweat, cause if there’s one thing that makes me more uncomfortable than praying in a group... is singing in a group....without alcohol. Lindi grabbed me and said, “it’s easy, you’ll learn fast... stop being scared.”-- I swear this woman can read me better than anyone else. “I love you, god loves you..this is the way should be! God loves you, I love you... This is the way should be! We gonna dance together dance together, this is the way should be! EYYYYYY!” It was so entertaining and fun, that I didn’t even notice I was singing and dancing around in the room with complete strangers.
When it was time to come back from dancing wonderland, and to reality... I finally snapped out of it, I realized that all the women were working on group projects... and I noticed one of the ladies holding her camera phone up.... aiming at me. I looked around to see if there was anyone behind me (in hopes that she was aiming at someone else)... and she said “no no sisi, I like you.” So she took a picture of me. Then wanted a picture with me. Then all of a sudden the room grew quiet... and everyone slowly walked towards me, asking for their picture with me. I’m pretty awkward in situations like this..cause I really don’t like to be the center of attention in an unfamiliar setting, or where there’s no alcohol involved. Mama Theresa said “we appreciate you sisi, you come across the world, with no money... and no family here... to learn and adapt to a new lifestyle, and help wherever you can.” I suddenly felt my eyes start to tear, and my heart suddenly felt warm. I wasn’t being pressured, or overwhelmed. I was being loved. I realized where I was, and what I was really learning, and most importantly... why I am here. I was put into this internship at Umtha Welanga, standing as an Art Therapist. But I am here, and I’m doing everything but that... as of now. And I’m completely ok with that. Lindi explained to me the other day that then need social workers. Social workers work for the children. Even when there is no funding.. they still work. Which means, they aren’t getting paid. So right now, I’m learning the ropes of social work... counseling while I can, and waiting for the children to be on their holiday break (starting next week) so we can do some art and dancing...and most importantly, I’m learning more about myself, life, and love.. than I ever thought imaginable. I am now more confident with what I want out of my life.... and what I definitely don’t want.
Today, I walked into the last day of training with my head held high.. and no anxiety. I greeted the women with hugs and kisses, and they hugged me back harder than they have hugged me yet. Nolita (one of the home care workers I work with), says to me “helloo buppah, I need you to do something today. We want you to say some nice words at the end of training. How it affected you, and words of wisdom..” Nothing like starting the day with an unplanned speech ahead of me. Well, I pulled up my pants and said “Ok” with a smile, and she then hugged and kissed my forehead. The entire day was so emotional for all of the mama’s. They shared all their personal experiences (in Xhosa... I really have to learn this language) tears were shed, and emotions were at an all time high. Then, it was time for me to say my speech. I started off by saying that I had no idea what anyone said before, but this is what I have to say... and then went into my own personal experiences and then what I really thought of all of them. The speech went a lot longer than I had planned, and I really surprised myself. When I ended, all the women clapped so hard, and I noticed almost all of them were crying. How in the world do I have such an impact on all of them? I’m still trying to figure that out. I wish they knew how much they have impacted me. They are teaching me how to love everyone. Give everyone a chance. Recapping the love they have shared, I thought to myself... you know how many people would cringe if someone with no teeth smiled at them? You know how many people would turn and whisper to their friends when they see a person wearing something that they wouldn’t consider “normal”? You know how many people turn away from innocent children and adults who have been affected/infected with HIV/AIDS? You know how many people look into these townships and can hardly see past all the trash and poverty... to see the true beauty? Do you know how many of these ‘black‘ people are terrified of the ‘whites‘ because of all of the racism and segregation that still goes on here? Did you know that if you show them love, they will love you back with every ounce they have to give, even if that means giving you the only orange they have. Did you know that in the bad townships, the children get one sandwich at lunch time and most of the time, it’s their only meal of the day? Did you know that these children are always happy, playing, dancing, being imaginative and active no matter how bad their lives are at home. Did you know that these women and families have made me feel so beautiful, more than I have ever felt, just by the gestures they give me? Well... I know. I see all of this everyday. EVERY. DAY. It’s time to take a moment and reflect on all the things we have in our lives. Be thankful. Try to thank as many people as you can. Try not to sweat the small things. Try not to complain. Giving people that have HIV/AIDS hugs, will not give you HIV. Remember, we are all alive... and well.
I walked out of this training today with more love, happiness, and encouragement than any time I can remember in my life. Lately, I have been struggling with understanding the concept that I am broke... and all of my friends are going on all of these cool trips, experiencing Africa, and I am not planning on anything because... I have no money. So, yes... I have been having (somewhat) of a pity party for myself. On the bus ride home, I was thinking about how fabulous the last 3 days were and how I can’t wipe my silly smile off my face, and how I am so excited to work with all the children next week. Then.. it hit me. I didn’t come to Africa to go on Safari’s, or swim with whales... or wine taste every weekend. I came to Africa to do what I can... to help and have an impact, to love with every molecule in my body, and to smile at everyone. I came here to experience Africa. The real Africa. The people. And that is what I am doing. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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